Infidelity is common in bipolar disorder, and sadly, it can inflict lasting damage to a bipolar relationship. Of course, there are many reasons for infidelity within a marriage or committed relationship, and it’s important to remember that having bipolar disorder does not mean you can’t be faithful to a romantic partner.
Extramarital sex is often described as a symptom of mania in bipolar disorder, but while these symptoms can explain infidelity, having bipolar disorder is not an excuse to cheat. The more you understand why bipolar disorder and infidelity are so common, the faster you can treat your bipolar symptoms and seek help for this common issue. With this in mind, let's look at why bipolar and infidelity often co-exist and find ways to combat the problem.
Bipolar and Infidelity: What’s the Truth?
Here’s the truth about bipolar and infidelity: being bipolar doesn’t mean you will be unfaithful to your partner, but it does make infidelity more likely, according to statistics. If you have bipolar disorder, that doesn’t mean you get a “free pass” to cheat – nor does it mean you should chastise yourself if you do have sex outside the relationship. Just like everybody else, people with bipolar disorder have to accept responsibility for their actions while learning from their mistakes.
Infidelity is a little more complicated for people with bipolar disorder, mostly because this kind of behavior is usually fuelled by mania. The cause of the infidelity is not so much about the person but about their symptoms, such as poor judgment, lack of impulse control and hypersexuality – all of which are hallmarks of a manic episode. In fact, “sexual indiscretions” are such a common marker of bipolar illness that this symptom is listed in the DSM-5’s diagnostic criteria for bipolar disorder.
Statistics on Bipolar and Infidelity
Although recent statistics on bipolar and infidelity are sparse, a 1975 study that looked at lifetimes of sexual experience found infidelity to be more common among people with bipolar. According to the figures, hypersexuality was reported in 57% of individuals who experienced mania, while 29% of people with bipolar disorder had cheated on their spouse 10 times or more.
Statistics on bipolar and infidelity can be sobering, and it often feels like the odds are stacked against relationships where mental illness is a factor. Fortunately, the most problematic and dangerous symptoms of bipolar disorder are the easiest to treat. Mania in bipolar I, for example, can be controlled and stabilized with medication, so long as you comply with your doctor’s advice and follow your treatment plan.
Medication might not be the whole answer, however, and it may take a while for you and your doctor to find the long-term drug and dosage that's right for you. If you still find yourself (or your partner) engaging in destructive behavior, such as lying and having sex outside the relationship, you may wish to consider counseling. Whether you go alone or with your partner, a therapist or guidance counselor can help you understand any underlying reasons for bipolar infidelity, while also helping you identify and avoid your triggers.
See Also:
article references
APA Reference
Smith, E. (2021, December 28). Bipolar Disorder and Infidelity: Why It Happens, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2023, August 15 from https://www.healthyplace.com/bipolar-disorder/relationships/bipolar-disorder-and-infidelity-why-it-happens
Last Updated: January 7, 2022
FAQs
The cause of the infidelity is not so much about the person but about their symptoms, such as poor judgment, lack of impulse control and hypersexuality – all of which are hallmarks of a manic episode.
Can bipolar disorder cause people to cheat? ›
Those with bipolar disorder may also engage in risky behaviors such as unprotected sex or extramarital affairs while manic. During episodes of depression, your partner may avoid sexual contact altogether.
Why does bipolar push away partners? ›
They don't want to burden people with their problems.
It's common for people with bipolar to worry that their problems are going to bring people down. Sometimes confiding in others can bring feelings of shame or guilt.
What are the psychological reasons for infidelity? ›
Why do People Cheat? UMD Research Identifies 8 Motivating Factors
- Anger (e.g., seeking revenge for a partner's betrayal)
- Sexual desire (e.g., feeling unsatisfied with the sex in a relationship and wanting to try something new)
- Lack of love (e.g., loss of passion or interest in a partner, falling “out of love”)
While scientific studies may not clearly prove a link between bipolar disorder and lying, it is a fact that the condition does. If your loved one has bipolar disorder and they lie a lot, try to understand that this is usually because they didn't mean to.
Do bipolar people become obsessed with their partner? ›
Bipolar Disorder is when your mood changes from one extreme to another, similar to Borderline Personality Disorder. This can result in an unhealthy obsession because you will either be in love with that person or want to hurt them.
Are bipolar people manipulative? ›
Manipulation isn't a formal symptom of bipolar disorder, although some people with the condition may exhibit this behavior. In some cases, manipulative behavior is a result of living with another mental health condition, such as personality disorders, substance use disorders, or trauma.
Do bipolar people get unhappy in relationships? ›
Having a diagnosis of bipolar disorder does not mean that a person will have relationship problems. However, without effective treatment, bipolar disorder symptoms may cause relationship tension. By sticking to a good treatment regimen, a person with bipolar disorder may have long periods with few or no symptoms.
Is narcissism part of bipolar disorder? ›
The main guide that mental health professionals use for diagnoses — called the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5) — does not list narcissism as a symptom of bipolar disorder.
How do bipolar people act after a breakup? ›
Breakups can be brutal—and can easily trigger bipolar symptoms. The end of a relationship often ushers in dark feelings like abandonment, guilt, and rejection. Even if the relationship was toxic and getting out was the right decision, there may be a sense of failure or self-blame.
The Biggest Predictors of Infidelity
- Be less satisfied with their relationships overall.
- Have lower levels of sexual satisfaction specifically.
- Have higher levels of sexual desire in general.
- Report less love for one's partner.
Childhood Trauma
Someone who is a serial cheater often has unresolved childhood trauma stemming from factors like parental abuse, unhealthy attachments, unrealistic relationship expectations, and/or divorce. These may continue to affect how they view relationships, causing them to continue to cheat.
What are the big 5 personality of cheaters? ›
For the Big Five Factors, conscientiousness was linked to lower infidelity; extraversion and agreeableness were associated with higher infidelity while neuroticism and openness showed mixed results. For HEXACO, individuals scoring low on honesty-humility scale had stronger relationship with infidelity.
Are people with bipolar abusive? ›
Sometimes someone with bipolar disorder may act abusively toward a partner. While bipolar disorder can have a significant impact on your life and relationships, it is treatable — and treatment is often key to managing mood episodes and maintaining a healthy romantic relationship.
Will a bipolar person apologize? ›
As a matter of fact, it may be a drawn-out process of apologizing as often as needed, making amends, and attempting to earn back trust.
Why you shouldn't argue with a bipolar person? ›
Never engage in dialogue with the other person's amygdala
Our clear messages get lost and we become irrational and unreasonable. For persons living with bipolar, the amygdala may be overactivated or very easily triggered. Don't engage in an argument or debate with your bipolar partner when he or she is in a fear state.
Do bipolar people have a tendency to steal? ›
Risk factors that may cause kleptomania
having other mental illnesses, including bipolar disorder, anxiety disorders, substance use disorders, or personality disorders (The link seems to be strongest with obsessive-compulsive disorder.)
Can bipolar cause self sabotage? ›
One of the most heartbreaking side effects of having bipolar disorder is the cycle of self-sabotage that has replayed itself in my life.
