Why It’s Okay To HATE Alcoholic’s Anonymous (2023)



Why It’s Okay To HATE Alcoholic’s Anonymous

If you develop a drinking problem, where do you go?

Don't say Alcoholics Anonymous until you read this!

The answer to problem drinking has never been the obvious choice. The initial pioneers turned up with a fantastic desire for bourbon and lots of it. In the early times of the nation, alcohol was among the few drinks that were dependably risk-free from pollution. (It was also less expensive than coffee beans or tea.)

The writer W. J. Rorabaugh has approximated that between the 1770s and 1830s, the typical American citizen over age 15 downed at least 5 gallons of pure alcohol a year, the rough equivalent of 3 shots of hard whiskey a day. Religious eagerness, assisted due to the introduction of communal water-filtration systems, helped arouse the soberness movement, which ended in 1920 with Prohibition.

That venture stopped after 14 years, but the heavy drinking way of life it cultivated lingers to this day.

AA has become the default solution for problem drinking BUT it was never designed for that.


Hey, how you doing this is Craig back from stop drinking expert, calm today's.

Video is entitled why it's? Okay to hate AAA? Why do I expose myself to this? Huh? Well, look.

The reason I'm making this video is because I've noticed something when I go around the world and I do my quit drinking boot camps.

People occasionally come up to me, and they whisper in my ear, and they say, I went to AAA and I didn't like it like it's, a secret I, don't, don't.

Let anyone hear that cuz I don't want the abuse and I get that because there is this almost like cultish following of Alcoholics Anonymous and I'm sure it's not the majority.

But there is a very vocal minority that stamp their feet and get very angry.

If you suggest there is any other way to deal with alcohol problems than AAA.

And you know, I experienced this a lot when I post on Facebook, always someone who's been to an AAA meeting will say, there's, only one way to deal with alcohol problems and that's Alcoholics Anonymous.

Everything else is a scam, a gimmick or a fad and that's it's a bit strange to be honest with you, because you don't see that with any other drug, you know, if you post it on Facebook I, quit drinking I quit smoking with nicotine, chewing gum.

You wouldn't get a load of abuse from the people who say you have to do it with hypnosis.

Would you you wouldn't get a load of comments from people who say absolutely ridiculous.

You've been scammed.

The only way to stop smoking is with patches smokers.

Would just go? Okay? Well, good for you great get on with your life for some reason with alcohol, unless you do it, the way that everyone says you have to do it you're a terrible, bad person.

And the person that is helping, you is even worse, they're, a scam artist or a conman or something and it's weird.

You know, but I think this is a very strange drug because not only other people who are drinking the drug in this strange bubble.

Remember we live in a society, where it's the people who choose not to drink the poison who are considered weird and boring.

We live in a world where the people who choose to drink poison on a daily basis are labeled fun and normal.

It doesn't make any sense, but that's this drug.

So it's, probably not unusual that the kind of situation around quitting is equally as strange.

So you know, don't get me wrong.

Aaa is a wonderful organization, and it has undoubtedly saved millions and millions of lives over the last 70 years.

And for that reason alone, it deserves our praise and appreciation and applause and all everything else that it deserves I don't have a problem with AAA.

And if you want to use AAA and you go and you like it, and it works for you, and you end up sober, fantastic great.

What I don't like is the the bullying that goes on that insists that there is only one way.

And unless you do it their way, you're a failure, or you've been scammed or you're doing a gimmick, or you whatever that's, what I don't get because when I'm thinking about, you know, when I see these comments from AAA members who say, there's, only one way I'm thinking, why are you so afraid? What are you afraid of because it must be coming from fear? You know, if someone else is using a different process to quit drinking, why does that make you so afraid I, don't, I, don't, really understand it, but I know, it's there.

And so a lot of people go to AAA and they eat, they don't like it, or they hate it, or they just find it.

It doesn't resonate with them, and they get then they get really scared, because then they start to assume that they're the problem because, hey, you can't criticize AAA it's been around for 70 years and it's.

The default option isn't it.

You say to anyone I've got a problem with alcohol.

What did they say put away a soma can't be the system must be me.

And so they stopped beating themselves up said, oh, what a terrible person I am and what the drinkers do when they feel low self-esteem when they feel stressed and anxious, they drink.

So a lot of people got to a a don't like it and end up drinking more and start getting very down on themselves.

And they can't express their feelings because there's this culture of don't.

You dare criticize AAA it's.

The only way don't, you dare object, but here's, the reality look there's.

A reason why it doesn't work for a lot of people let's say this box here represents all the people in the world who have a problem with alcohol.

Okay, let's say, somewhere around here, all these people here and not what you would call an alcoholic they're.

Just problem drinkers.

These are the sort of people who are getting home from work and they're.

There drinking a six-pack every night or they're, getting the kids to bed and they're opening a bottle of wine and downing a bottle of wine, a night or two bottles of wine, a night and they're doing it every day.

And they've started to get worried about their drinking, and they tried to stop and found they couldn't now they're panicked, but they're entirely functional, you know, they're holding down jobs.

They've been in a relationship they're, not getting thrown in jail in the drunk tank.

They've got they're not getting DUIs.

You know, they're entirely functioning in society.

And perhaps most of the people who know them don't even know that they have a problem.

But their drinking is in a loop.

They can't stop it and it's, making them miserable and they're starting to see serious negative consequences like ill, health, financial problems, relationship problems.

And so on that'll be a a.

And then you've got people over here in this little box here, who are the real pure bred alcoholics.

These people are completely dependent on the drug they're physically dependent on it.

You know, it started to take over their life.

They they can't hold down a job.

Their relationships are collapsing around them.

They have dire financial situations.

They can't go more than a few hours without drinking.

If they stop drinking, they get severe withdrawal.

So they're they're in a pretty dark place.

They've hit rock bottom.

Basically and AAA was created 70 odd years ago to help these people, okay, but because it's been around for so long and it's so ingrained in society that no matter how you describe your drinking problem.

Aaa is always the default.

So these people, you know, if they do express their concerns and worries to someone the chances are they're going to be advised to go to AAA, even as though actually it wasn't designed for them unless they've got money if they're wealthy enough, then there'll be advise to go to rehab.


Now, rehab, a success, the same as AAA, but they charge you a thousand dollars a day.

I know, I'm oversimplifying that.

But okay.

So if you've got a rehab, they're gonna give you some drugs to help you with the cravings and you're gonna be monitored 24/7 by very expensive, doctor and you're gonna stay in a very nice environment, but essentially then they're going to default to the 12 steps.

So rehab is basically a a for people who've got money, it's the same process, but you do it in a nicer surrounding.

So instead of a community center or a church, or in a very nice hospital with a very expensive doctor.

So if you've got 30 grand to spend on recovery, then then rehabs where they'll suggest you go, if you haven't, then I'm gonna suggest you go to AAA, but because AAA wasn't designed for the vast majority of these problem, drinkers, a lot of these people here they go to AAA, and they sit in the meeting, and they think I hate this.

This is just, oh I hate every second of it.

This is horrible it's depressing, the hell out of me it doesn't speak to me, all it doesn't resonate, but they're too scared to express that opinion, because because of the the myth, the story that AAA is the only one, and so they either carry on and be miserable, or they leave and drink more because now.

Now what do they do their ultimate safety net? Is gone, you know, often going to AAA is the ultimate step there's, nothing beyond that unless you've got 30 grand.

And so if you're one of these people when I describe problem drinkers earlier, if you're one of those people and you thought, yeah, that's me that's me, I've got a job got a wife got a husband drinking every night hate it, can't, stop.

And you've been to Anu didn't like it.

Well, here's the story stop beating yourself up you're, not the problem it's.

You don't, take this internally and say, well, you know if it works for other people, why didn't it work for me? Why do I hate it? What a terrible person? I? Am stop beating yourself up it's entirely logical.

It didn't work for you.

It wasn't designed for you in the first place.

And so I think it's time that we stop using a broadsword to attack this alcohol problem.

We have in the Western world and saying that there's only one solution.

And this is it.

These are the people that I am focused on helping.

And this is what my course is designed for and I'm.

Not arrogant enough to say that you must do it.

My way do it whatever way that works just do it do something but I'm I want you to stop worrying that there's a right way to do this in a wrong way or and I want you to stop looking at the comments on Facebook and social media that say that you have to do it this way, otherwise you're getting it wrong or you're going to fail.

You've got no chance because it's just bullying, that's, all it is it's just bullying.

And just like the kid at school who bullies another kid.

It comes from fear, I, don't know, what they're afraid of I, don't know what they're scared of but I'm 100% certain that that sort of attitude that you do it my way or no way it all comes from fear.

And the last thing you need when you're trying to make this monumental change in your life, getting the attractively packaged poison out of your life is a dose of fear from someone else looking down from their ivory tower, I don't care, how you do this.

It doesn't have to be my way.

It can be anyway.

I just encourage you to have faith in yourself and know that you're not the problem and just get it fixed, whatever way works for you.

Thank you for watching.

Please comment below I'd love to hear what you think please subscribe to my youtube channel as well I think we just hit 20,000 subscribers, which is fantastic let's, make it 50,000.

And why not join me today for a free quit drinking webinar at the website.

Stop drinking expert dot-com.

Thanks for watching, no more hangovers, no more mornings of guilt and regret and no willpower required to get there really consider this because it's different it's, it's different to anything you can find out there and it's.

It gives you real mental freedom from the clutches of alcohol.

You have my best-selling ebook free today at stopped drinking expert, calm without a doubt.

If you can make it happen, if you can find a way if it's something that you feel the heartstrings pulling that you need to make a change your life.

Then you need to pull out all the stops.

Well, not all the stuff to make it happen and be it's just so worth.

It, why did I waste all those years being in my middle 60s now, I wasted so many years to find out why this is the next only five-star rated quit drinking solution and get your free ebook today at stop drinking expert, calm.


What are the problems with AA? ›

Among the issues identified as limiting AA's effectiveness are the movement's preoccupation with drinking and sobriety and lack of concern for other problems. Also, the possibility is raised that AA's insistence that its members are but "one drink away from a drunk" can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

What to do if you don't like AA? ›

What can I do instead of AA?
  1. SMART. Teaches skills to help you stay motivated in your sobriety and cope with cravings.
  2. The Sinclair Method. Evidence-based treatment that uses naltrexone to reduce alcohol cravings and alcohol intake.
  3. Oar. ...
  4. Community Support. ...
  5. Moderation. ...
  6. Therapy. ...
  7. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. ...
  8. Coaching.

Is AA selfish? ›

Alcoholics Anonymous is not a selfish program. At it's core, it is quite the opposite. Selfishness is the root of our troubles, and we must be rid of it and practice selflessness at every opportunity if we are to remain happy, joyous, and free in sobriety.

Why does AA have a low success rate? ›

Problem #1 — The Success Rate of AA Is Low Because the Wrong People Are Forced to Go. This is the biggest problem affecting the success rate of AA — people are forced to go who shouldn't be there. Look, AA is for people who are bottom-of-the-barrel drunks and drug addicts.

What is the failure rate of AA? ›

Although AA has been criticized by some sources for having a low success rate, the rate likely isn't 5% like some say it is. Addiction specialists cite success rates slightly higher, between 8% and 12%. A New York Times article stated that AA claims that up to 75% of its members stay abstinent.

What is the life expectancy of AA? ›

AA Amyloidosis Life Expectancy

The average life expectancy after diagnosis is 11 years.

What not to say at AA? ›

Here are some examples of things you should avoid speaking about during an AA meeting:
  • Unrelated Topics. ...
  • Controversial Topics. ...
  • Substance Use Behaviors. ...
  • Distressing or Traumatic Incidents. ...
  • Grievances or Resentments.
Oct 25, 2021

Is AA membership declining? ›

Americans and AA members have maintained the same pace over the last 31 years (AAs being 32% older that the average American in both 1983 and 2014).

Is it OK to leave AA? ›

It is absolutely okay to leave AA. That is your right as a person in recovery, and no one has the right to direct you otherwise.

What is the mental obsession in AA? ›

In one excerpt from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, the mental obsession is described as being when alcoholic “at certain times has no effective mental defense against the first drink,” meaning that will-power, consequences, emotional appeals of loved ones and any other hundreds of reasons that make sense not to ...

Who are the enemies of AA? ›

The greatest enemies of us alcoholics are resent ment, jealousy, envy, frustration, and fear.

Do people cry in AA? ›

Going to an AA meeting can be an emotional rollercoaster for all those involved. It's not uncommon to see the group laughing hysterically, only for this mood to turn into tears.

What is the hardest step in AA? ›

Those who subscribe to the 12 steps of AA recognize that for most addicts, step one is usually the hardest. Admitting you are powerless over alcohol requires a tremendous amount of courage, humility and even fear. It can bring on a flood of powerful emotions including shame, anger and grief.

What is the average length of sobriety in AA? ›

The average time of sobriety of successful AA members, as reported by AA, is more than five years.

Why AA doesn t work for everyone? ›

So then, why does AA work for some people and not others? People have different beliefs and different needs, and Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) just doesn't fit everyone. Some people love the camaraderie that AA offers and believe that their long-term sobriety depends on going to AA meetings for the rest of their life.

What percentage of alcoholics recover on their own? ›

As said before, research shows that more than one-third of alcoholics recover within the first year. So, when it comes to what percentage of alcoholics recover, it's 36%. This percentage increases as recovering alcoholics maintain their sobriety or a low level of drinking.

Is AA really effective? ›

AA shines. Most of the studies that measured abstinence found AA was significantly better than other interventions or no intervention. In one study, it was found to be 60% more effective.

Who has the longest sobriety in AA? ›

James H. is truly a unique individual. He is ninety-five years old, sixty-six years sober, and one of the greatest "life-changers" of the past one hundred years.

Can an alcoholic live a long life? ›

Doctors guess that chronic alcohol abuse will lower a person's life expectancy by as many as twelve years. Though many people are aware that alcohol improves the likelihood of liver complications and heart disease, many people do not realize how many other risks alcohol poses.

What percentage of AA members relapse? ›

Unfortunately relapse rates for individuals who enter recovery from a drug or alcohol addiction are quite high. Studies reflect that about 40-60% of individuals relapse within 30 days of leaving an inpatient drug and alcohol treatment center, and up to 85% relapse within the first year.

How long does it take to recover from AA? ›

Different for Each Individual

Some of the steps involve making amends to those you may have hurt as a result of your alcoholism. For some people, that may take a day or two. For others, it may be a longer process that requires months or even years.

What is the only rule of AA? ›

Rules of Alcoholics Anonymous: Well maybe one rule:

The only requirement for AA membership is a desire to stop drinking. This is contained in the preamble.

What are the unwritten rules of AA? ›

These rules are: Don't talk, don't trust, and don't feel. People within the system follow these rules to maintain the status quo. “Everyone in the system often begins to believe that their needs no longer matter,” says Rachel Evans, Family Therapist at the Center for Recovering Families.

Is it OK to go to AA drunk? ›

Fortunately, AA welcomes new members whether they are drunk, high, or sober. However, individual AA groups may have their own traditions regarding attending meetings under the influence.

What are the Four Horsemen of AA? ›

Momentarily we did—then would come oblivion and the awful awakening to face the hideous Four Horsemen—Terror, Bewilderment, Frustration, Despair. Unhappy drinkers who read this page will understand!

What percentage of AA is female? ›

Women are statistically underrepresented, making up only 38 percent of the AA population. 32 percent of all modern AA members are introduced to the program by a friend.

Can you join AA without being an alcoholic? ›

Only those with a drinking problem may attend closed meetings or become AA members. People with problems other than alcoholism are eligible for AA membership only if they have a drinking problem, too. 3 According to AA traditions, the only qualification for membership is a desire to stop drinking.

What does AA say about letting go? ›

We are powerless over most things and the sooner we admit it, the sooner we can reach the state of serenity necessary to stay sober. So, the best thing to do is to let go of trying to control everything and put it in God's hands. Let go.

Can you be in a relationship while in AA? ›

The official policy of Alcoholics Anonymous (as laid out in the Big Book) does not specifically close the door to dating in the early period of sobriety, but abstaining from relationships is an integral part of the conversation.

Should I keep going to AA? ›

Continuing to show up each day or week is necessary to overcome potential relapses. Since 90% of alcoholics are likely to relapse within the first four years of remission, a support system can improve your chances of continued sobriety.

What are the 3 parts of addiction? ›

Well-supported evidence suggests that the addiction process involves a three-stage cycle: binge/intoxication, withdrawal/negative affect, and preoccupation/anticipation.

What is malady in AA? ›

It simply means we are spiritually blocked off from the Power of God, which enables us to remain sober, happy, joyous, and free.

Is AA a disease model of addiction? ›

So how does AA define addiction? AA echoes the Disease Model in its definition of addiction. AA defines alcoholism as a “three-fold illness” consisting of a physical allergy, a mental obsession and a spiritual malady.

What are the two sins in AA? ›

there are only two sins; the first is to interfere with the growth of another human being, and the second is to interfere with one's own growth. Happiness is such an elusive state.

What is the anger prayer for AA? ›

God save me from being angry. Thy will be done." We avoid retaliation or argument. We wouldn't treat sick people that way.

What is the spiritual side of AA? ›

A Program of Action

They contain no new ideas: surrender, self-inventory, confession to someone outside ourselves, and some form of prayer and meditation are concepts found in spiritual movements throughout the world for thousands of years.

What does kiss mean in AA? ›

Examples are “Keep it short and simple” and “Keep it simple and straightforward.” Though both phrases technically introduce an “A” into the acronym, they both deliver the same message as “Keep it simple, stupid.” The objective of any process is to deliver the simplest possible outcome.

What is the first rule of AA? ›

Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable. Step 2: Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. Step 3: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

What does AA say about insanity? ›

Call it a cliché, an old saw, a euphemism or a witticism, it's still applicable in describing addiction and alcoholism: “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.”

What does Step 7 mean in AA? ›

Step 7 asks people to humble themselves and acknowledge that they are not perfect. This is accomplished by asking a higher power to help remove these shortcomings. It is important to remember that for some people, this may involve asking God, as they understand Him, for help.

What does Step 8 mean in AA? ›

Step 8: “Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.” The pathway toward renewal and personal growth in recovery is a gradual one. The 12 Step program of Alcoholics Anonymous provides the framework to slowly but surely attain this new mindset.

What does Step 9 mean in AA? ›

Step 9 of AA: Be Willing to Make Amends

Step 9 requires one to be willing to go to any lengths to make amends, provided they don't end up causing somebody new or additional harm. The individual must be willing to take this step no matter how severe the personal consequences.

What is the hardest part of sobriety? ›

For many people, the first few weeks of sobriety are the hardest. You may have withdrawal symptoms that are physically and emotionally uncomfortable. Cravings are also common during this time, which can tempt you to relapse. Treatment can help you get through this challenging period.

What are the hardest months of sobriety? ›

The first few months of recovery from addiction are some of the most difficult. Insomnia, triggers, drug cravings, and the need to deal with emotions that were previously numbed with drugs make early recovery a period of enormous adjustment.

Does one sip break sobriety? ›

If you're wondering, “does one drink break sobriety?” Yes, it does! If you've been diagnosed with an alcohol use disorder (alcoholism) and have abstained from alcohol, even one drink can break your sobriety. With relapse, the risk of returning to active alcohol abuse is a real threat.

What are the disadvantages of AA? ›

While it is true that AA does have a number of weaknesses most notably of which is the induction of feelings of guilt and to some extent helplessness in its members, even its critics acknowledge that AA does not manipulate its members for the personal advantage of any one person or group of people.

What are the problems of AA? ›

Among the issues identified as limiting AA's effectiveness are the movement's preoccupation with drinking and sobriety and lack of concern for other problems. Also, the possibility is raised that AA's insistence that its members are but "one drink away from a drunk" can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Does the 12 step program really work? ›

The short answer to whether or not the twelve steps are really effective is that they can be very helpful in aiding people on the road to recovery. The twelve step program not only helps people get sober in the first place, but also work as a great source of support for the long term.

What is the criticism of the Big Book of AA? ›

The Big Book suffers from the theistic, Christian biases of the author (Bill Wilson) and the early members of AA. In practical terms, the Big Book perpetuates the biases against non-theists both in and outside AA. For more information about Not-God: A History of Alcoholics Anonymous, by Ernie Kurtz, click on the cover.

What are unrealistic expectations in AA? ›

Unrealistic expectations happen when you don't know what you're getting into or you expect recovery to turn out differently. Those expectations can be about the treatment process or life after treatment. Some common unrealistic expectations include: Expecting treatment and recovery to be easy.

What are the only two sins in AA Big Book? ›

there are only two sins; the first is to interfere with the growth of another human being, and the second is to interfere with one's own growth. Happiness is such an elusive state.

What is the concept of God in AA Big Book? ›

Consequently, the “official” AA program continues to rely on the divine, the sacred, the religious. The word “God”, or another version of “Him”, is found 281 times in the first 164 pages of the Big Book. The divine is addressed directly as “God” in four of the 12 steps and indirectly in two, as “Power” and “Him.”

What does the Big Book say about the real alcoholic? ›

But what about the real alcoholic? He may start off as a moderate drinker; he may or may not become a continuous hard drinker; but at some stage of his drinking career he begins to lose all control of his liquor consumption, once he starts to drink.

Can you be friends with people in AA? ›

It is very easy to make new friends at AA because when you first get there a card is handed around and everyone puts their name and number on it so you can call people if you need help or even a friend.

What are the main character defects in AA? ›

Here are the defects of character:
  • Resentment, Anger.
  • Fear, Cowardice.
  • Self pity.
  • Self justification.
  • Self importance, Egotism.
  • Self condemnation, Guilt.
  • Lying, Evasiveness, Dishonesty.
  • Impatience.

What does AA say about resentment? ›

As they wrote in the Big Book, AA's foundational text, “Resentment is the number-one offender. It destroys more alcoholics than anything else.” AA encourages participants to begin working through their resentments with Step 4, which is where you will make a “searching and fearless moral inventory” of yourself.

What are some of the common objections to AA? ›

Some of the common oppositions people have are:
  • They don't think it will help.
  • They're afraid of seeing someone they know.
  • They aren't sure they have a problem.
  • Some may not be religious.
May 18, 2023

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