Studies consistently show that men and women are not very different in their wants and needs. Perhaps there are differences, but science has not found a way to measure them. Experts who speak on the subject acknowledge that differences do persist and work to bridge the gap between men and women, helping women understand what men want and need in relationships. While a man's needs are highly individual, there are some general guidelines to knowing what a man needs in a relationship.
Men's Needs In Relationships
Men's needs in relationships with women differ depending on the relationship status. There are some general guidelines that could apply to any relationship status, from dating to marriage.
Men Need Great Sex
According to Dr. Juli Slattery, sex is on the top of the list when considering what men need in a relationship. Not only do men need sex, but they need good sex, not sex that is done out of obligation or guilt. Dr. Slattery explains that sex is an inextricable part of a man in terms of his physical, emotional, and spiritual wellness:
- Physically, men have a biological need for sexual release.
- Emotionally, men, like women, want to feel desirable to their partner.
- Spiritually, in a relationship, men and women need to explore their connectivity to each other.
Many times, women and men differ in sexual drives because of the demands of daily life. Women become focused on raising a family and balancing a career, and often times, sex can take a back seat to life's other obligations. Dr. Slattery suggests that problems in the relationship arise when women don't acknowledge this aspect of a relationship as a need as opposed to a desire.
Dr. Slattery suggests that if you are a woman who feels like her husband's drive for sex is perverted or dirty, you need to examine why you view sex with such disdain, rather than as a natural and necessary part of a relationship between a man and a woman.
Men Need Affection
It is often thought that men don't need cuddling or other physical signs of affection. However, a recent study showed that men need affection just as much as women do. Researchers were surprised to find that men were more satisfied in relationships where partners were affectionate. The difference between men and women, the study found, was that women tended to feel more sexually satisfied when affection is a regular part of the relationship.
Men Need Space
Any person who pursues a healthy relationship needs their personal space from time to time. Men are no different. Sometimes, they need a little time to themselves. This concept, while seen as a difference between the sexes, can apply to women as well. For instance, do you want your husband to insist on accompanying you on your girl's night out? Establishing healthy personal boundaries is a key component of any healthy relationship.
Men Need to Satisfy Their Woman
Men feel happy when they can make their woman happy. It has to do with the give and take in the relationship. When the man and woman in the relationship at least try to make each other happy, it goes a long way to the love and caring they demonstrate to each other.
Men who feel this need are most often individuals that are mentally and emotionally looking towards establishing and maintaining a long term relationship, and engage in healthy behaviors to encourage the success of the relationship.
Men Need to Be Understood
Again, this goes for women too. However, women need to understand that men's expectations, based on their emotional needs, differ from women's expectations in relationships. A man likes to know that you can trust him and lean on him, that you appreciate him, you hold him in high regard, you support and approve of what he does, and that you are on his side.
Men Need Respect
Being respected, for a man, means that you have faith in what he's capable of, says relationship expert Laura Doyle. Respect is an integral part of a man's self-worth and involves you telling and showing him that you think he's smart and competent. Keep in mind that being considerate is not the same thing as being respectful in a man's eyes.
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Men Need Praise
Although many men portray the epitome of strength, they are often secretly worried they aren't cutting it in all aspects of life. Affirmation and specific praise from a lover gives guys a sense of security and confidence in their relationship as well as outside of it. Hearing a simple "thank you" on a regular basis for small acts can go a long way in making a man feel good about himself and your relationship.
Men Need Emotional Security
Because of societal constraints, men don't often have many comfortable, safe places they can express emotions. You are your man's safe place and he needs to know that when he's ready to open up fully, you'll be understanding and open. He needs to know he can cut his emotions loose around you without fear of judgement or ridicule.
Men's Needs in Marriages
In the book, His Needs, Her Needs, author Willard Harley suggests that when marriages fail, it is because couples don't feel like they did when they first met. The path to achieving this, Harley states, is to meet each other's emotional needs.
However, men's emotional needs are different from women's. As Harley states, often these needs are opposite, which lead to miscommunications and an under-appreciation of the spouse's efforts. He also warns that each of these needs cannot be applied to every single man, but should be taken as a general guideline. At times, women can share the same needs as men, but they might differ on the priority list as to placement.
There are five emotional needs of men that lead them to feel they are satisfied in a marriage:
- Men need to feel admired and held in high regard.
- Men need to feel attractive.
- Men need to have companionship and do things with their spouse.
- Men need to be sexually fulfilled.
- Men need to feel supported.
Guidelines, Rather Than Rules
While men and women's perception of their relationship needs can vary, it is important to keep in mind that these are general guidelines rather than hard, steadfast rules to apply. These might not apply to every man or couple, as Harley stated. The idea is to take these guidelines and use them as tools for self-discovery, as well as learning what your man's needs are, and how they are the same or differ from yours.
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Men may not be expressive, but they also have emotional needs. They look for comforting companionship, affection, emotional security, appreciation, compatibility, good level of understanding, independence of decision-making, and encouragement from their partners.What a man really needs in a relationship? ›
Men may not be expressive, but they also have emotional needs. They look for comforting companionship, affection, emotional security, appreciation, compatibility, good level of understanding, independence of decision-making, and encouragement from their partners.What are the top 5 needs of a man? ›
- The 5 Basic Needs of A Man. A wife makes herself irresistible to her husband by learning to meet his five basic needs.
- His need for admiration and respect. ...
- His need for sexual fulfillment. ...
- His need for home support. ...
- His need for her attractiveness. ...
- His need for a life companion.
According to Steve Harvey, if you provide a man with these three things in a relationship, he won't leave: support, loyalty, and intimacy. Harvey says that men may hide behind their macho demeanors, but in the end they just want to feel special.What a man needs in a woman? ›
Being supportive, compassionate, and encouraging toward your significant other plays a huge part in building a successful and happy relationship. Men want women who support them in their endeavors or in their times of need.What do men want most from a relationship? ›
Men want to be treated in a way that doesn't diminish their egos or make them feel inadequate. They love to be praised and acknowledged for the things they do right. Above all, they like to be reminded that they are great guys who are well-loved and appreciated. Simply put, men care about the same things as women.What are the main man needs? ›
Food, clothing and shelter altogether make up the basic needs of man to survive in any kind of environment.What are the 4 major needs of a man? ›
- Need #1: Honor and Respect. ...
- Need #2: Sex. ...
- Need #3: Finding Friendship. ...
- Need #4: Support at Home. ...
- The Banquet.
We must have food, water, air, and shelter to survive. If any one of these basic needs is not met, then humans cannot survive. Before past explorers set off to find new lands and conquer new worlds, they had to make sure that their basic needs were met.What is a man's deepest emotional need? ›
Men secretly crave to talk about their feelings, men want to be understood, they want to know how to be more vulnerable in relationships, to let their emotions out, and — just like everyone else — want others to care about their feelings. As humans, we need to feel connected to others–to build emotional intimacy.
- Respect. Men thrive when they know that their wife trusts them, admires them and believes in them. ...
- Intimacy and Initiation. Husbands want more physical affection and touch from their wife — and not just sex. ...
Men love women who are thoughtful, caring, loving, and kind. A woman who does little things for her man for no other reason other than that she loves him. A woman who makes him smile back whenever she smiles at him. A woman who radiates love and warmth from her heart.What makes a man feel connected to a woman? ›
In plain language: Men often feel most loved by the women in their lives when their partners hug them, kiss them, smile at them, and explicitly offer gratitude, praise, and words of affection. Men also feel loved and connected through sexuality, often to a greater degree than women do.What men need most in a woman? ›
Like women, men want a life partner who will be trustworthy, faithful and reliable. They want a wife who will stand by their side and, considering divorce rates, it's no surprise that dependability would continue to be attractive.How do you satisfy a man's emotional needs? ›
- Physical affection. Everyone needs physical affection. ...
- Compassionate conversation. Talk to your husband. ...
- Undivided attention. ...
- Unsolicited interest. ...
- Participate in his interests. ...
- Strategic space.
To make your man happy emotionally, you have to be attentive to his needs and to know when to give him space. To make your man happy sexually, you have to want to try new things and to be bold and adventurous. But the most important part is that you are feeling happy while you're pleasing your man.What are men emotional needs? ›
Some common emotional needs that men look forward to getting are respect, affection, sexual fulfillment, honesty, prioritization, etc.What a mature man wants in a relationship? ›
They want someone who's also independent. They want a woman who can support herself. Such a woman is responsible and trustworthy, because she can take care of herself just fine. Most mature men want a partner in life, and not someone who they need to feed, house, and support with money.How to make a man miss you? ›
- Make him wait before replying his texts. ...
- Add some mystery to your experiences together. ...
- Have adventures with him (and your friends) ...
- Show a bit of interest in someone (or something) else. ...
- Give yourself a makeover. ...
- Leave him wanting more.