Marrying a Steady Man - Preparing To Be A Help Meet - Conversations (2023)

Being a good help meet starts long before marriage. It is a mindset, a learned habit, a way of life established as a young unmarried girl—or at least thats the way it should be.
Nearly every wife will confess that the first year or two of married life washow shall I say ita frustrating learning experience. Most girls spend plenty of time planning for their wedding, but make no preparation for the weeks and years to follow. Many wives are provoked to bitterness during the first year and never get over it. All this could so easily be avoided with simple instruction. It was with good reason God said let the aged women teach the younger. Trial and error is not the best teacher when it comes to marriage. It is much less painful to learn beforehand what God has to say about your role as a help meet to that special man God will bring into your life. It is the older women who have experienced the joys of a good marriage whom God has appointed to pass along his instructions. That is what I have done in this new book Preparing To Be A Help Meet.
Preparing To Be A Help Meet contains six sweet love stories written by wives sharing their experiences about how God taught them to be the help meets they are today. Three of the stories are from wives that have been married over 40 years. Three stories are by new brides who, before marriage, were trained to be the help meet God intended. All the love stories are beautiful, and will show you how wonderful it is to walk together in Gods light.
In addition to the six personal testimonies, this book is full of short stories from a wide range of cultural backgrounds. Funny tales, ideas of how to gain a good mans attention, and even a tragic testimony all teach important lessons. You will meet Grabbers and Hidden Flowers, and discover how to avoid being either. The chapter on Antsy Babes will remind you why patience is so important. You will be warned as you read stories of how texting, emailing and other forms of cyberspace have destroyed many budding relationships and even marriages.
An important part of this book is instruction on preparing for your future by saving money, developing skills, gathering information on cooking, health, and many other topics. Girls will see how one wise young woman planned her wedding Gods way. Along the way the reader will learn what to pack in her Heavenly Hope Chest.


Hi I'm, Debbie, pearl I'm here with Kirsten and the herb garden.

And it is one hot humid day and we're going to discuss the subject of her marrying a priest priest.

Man is steady gentle kind.

You can count on him.

And so we're gonna ask Kirsten do you want to marry a steady guys? Son, studies are so boring.

I have a friend he's even boring.

When he eats.

His food is even born.


A rough case.


Now, let's talk about tell me one thing that you like about priests men that are slow and steady think about what I think I think about who do, you know, that is a priest type.

My dad is this the epitome of a priest he is, and he always has been and I really like and admire that about my dad, you know, he is just he's amazing.

And what I like about him is he's always he's, always there, I know that I you can count on him.

You can count on him and I knew that he was always gonna be at my soccer game and his ministry isn't, necessarily he doesn't go out and Street, preach or go to the prisons or anything like that, but he's sort of the behind the scenes type guy.

And we noticed that as his family.

And it was kind of like after church, you be.

He be the one to clean up around the church and doing people home visitors home.

And he would do that on Saturday while most guys were on I mean on Sunday.

He would do that one most I was on Saturday we're, going preaching in the prisons and street preaching and doing all that he was at our soccer games on Saturday supporting our family.

He was there I knew.

It was gonna be there.

He was my coach on my soccer team.

And that meant a lot to me then on Sunday, you could see him ministering to people that was his ministry.

He was more behind-the-scenes, friendly, friendly, he's, certainly.

And he told the kids stories and it's just watching him just I.

You know, you were proud.

I was proud of him and it's like other kids would be like, well, what is your dad? Do you know, it's your dad, the preacher? What is your dad, dude like no, he just sees the behind-the-scenes.

You know, handyman.

He does everything it's like to me.

He did everything.

He was always busy with people and people often overlook.

These steady guys in my book, created I have a story about a man that washes the outhouse.

You remember that, yeah, that's.

Her dad, her dad, my husband's the preacher.

So we really appreciate him.

We really are thankful for him because we know we don't have to think about these things because he's going to take care of it nobody's going to say.

Thank you nobody's asked him to do it, but women that are married to steady men often complain.

They look down at their husbands.

They don't feel like their spiritual, because they don't preach.

They don't feel like they're leaders in the home, because they don't teach the children Bible stories or have devotions.

They are just playing steady men that you can count on so tell me, what do you see that you need to be doing to get ready to learn to appreciate your steady man? If you marry a priest, I think it's a lot like a prophet you, you need to have something on the side that you yourself can do so you're, not pushing him to do everything with you.

He can be doing his little ministries that he values that are valuable to him, and you can have your own life and learn how to take control not take control, but teeth you're in charge of teaching the kids, even in he's really good at math.

Don't expect him to teach the kids math he's got to get a math tutor.

I mean, you could say, that's, a total waste, my husband's really good at math.

Why doesn't he just teach that's not what he's them his calling? And so you need to prepare expect that out of him just expect him to do his job do his ministry what's valuable to him.

And then you need to find out how you can do all the rest.

Yeah, thinking of that.

Now as a girl matures, she learns to appreciate and honor a steady man more than she would when she was young and single, but just knowing that God calls a greater number of men to be priests, the they're, the ones that come when there's if there's a tragedy, they're ready to be quiet and and just be by your side.

They are the men that they're the salt of the earth.

And if you as a young single girl, look around you and start praying and appreciating all these steady men, then when you marry, if you are really fortunate, God will give you a steady man, you'll, appreciate him for the righteous.

Good man that is and not expect him to be somebody in the front with the bells and whistles.

So I think that this has been a good lesson to be able to see her appreciation for her dad.

And to know that his value is just as important and great as the preacher.

Yes, definitely and they're they're, also, nice because you can even as a child I.

Remember, my dad has a routine I.

Remember when I could wake up in the morning, it'd be really early, and for me, I was like 5, or whatever and I could get up and brush my teeth while he was shaving.

And that was kind of our time together and I knew that if I woke up, if I, if I could get up and wake up, I could sit with him for 15 minutes in the bathroom, why he shaved and did his routine and I could be there with him, and that was so special and absurd in the five and six year old.

And you know, you don't think about that as someone having a routine and all all that stuff, but I knew that I knew that my dad was there and I knew that I could get up with him and do that with him.

And all along I know, I know what my dad does every day and I know, it's just nice to know that he's always there and I can count on him to do his routine and do his the things I can jump in there with him.

But when I was little that was just so special to me, I, remember, just sitting on the counter in the bathroom watching him shave and talking his ear off and then I would usually crash as soon as he laughs.

But it was just a 15 minutes, knowing that could get up and be with my dad for that time and I know that that's a trade of a slow and steady, they have a routine in their life.

They that they do.

And that was that was really good.

Also I think is young girls.

We want someone more wild and crazier in charge.

You know, if you're, you know, romantic, yeah, when you're older you want someone who's, you can count on to be there and who's slower and steady and therefore the family.

So you may be looking at all of these teenage guys around, you know, wow, he's, you know, so exciting do it on something from the flow instead he's just pacing out their life.

But really in the end that's for they're all awesome.

But you know so don't overlook a steady hand, don't overlook a steady man.

He, you know, don't think he's, boring think, he's, deep he's deep and he's sure going to come to your rescue someday.

So you want to get you while he can.


What marriage means to a man? ›

Marriage generally makes people happier. When men get married, they become happier because the thought of spending life together with someone forever is thrilling. Hence, he will look forward to all the moments he will share with his life partner. Happiness is also one of the health benefits of marriage.

What a man needs before marriage? ›

Seven Things Men Should Do Before Marriage
  • Develop a Strong Work Ethic. ...
  • Seek responsibility instead of running from it. ...
  • Develop a Disciplined Financial Plan. ...
  • Prioritize Sexual Purity (both mentally and physically) ...
  • Use your singleness as an opportunity for Service; not for Selfishness. ...
  • Learn how to be a gentleman.
Aug 28, 2020

Why do we get married according to the Bible? ›

God designed marriage for three primary purposes: companionship, procreation, and redemption. These purposes are still relevant today and are essential for a healthy society.

What does the Bible say about who can marry a couple? ›

Marriage in the Bible simply consists of a man and woman, with the consent of the woman's father or guardian, living together and attempting procreation. No vows, no priest, no ritual, no prayer, no pronouncement, no license, no registration. This is quite different from how we define and enact marriage today.

What are the 3 most important things in marriage? ›

Marriages take work, commitment, and love, but they also need respect to be truly happy and successful. A marriage based on love and respect doesn't just happen.

What makes a man commit to a woman? ›

“A man will commit when he feels a deep connection with a woman that he doesn't feel with anyone else; when he finds a lover who is also his best friend that makes him feel special and unique,” Tripp says.

What are the 5 basic needs of a man? ›

Food, water, clothing, sleep, and shelter are the bare necessities for anyone's survival. For many people, these basic needs can not be met without the aid of charitable organizations.

What are the 5 things a man needs in marriage? ›

Willard Harvey, in his book His Needs/Her Needs, states the five top needs of men in marriage. Those five needs are admiration, physical attractiveness, recreational companionship, sexual fulfillment and domestic support.

What a man needs most from his wife? ›

Both the husband and wife need trust, loyalty, fidelity, and love in order for their marriage to work at all. The same goes for compassion, kindness, respect, and the like. There's a host of basics we must adhere to as married people, and I think most of you recognize and can name what those things are.

What are the 3 blessings of marriage? ›

Marriage has three blessings. The first is children, to be received and raised for God's service. The second is the loyal faithfulness by which each serves the other. The third is the sacrament of matrimony, which signifies the inseparable union of Christ with His Church.

What does a godly marriage look like? ›

God designed marriage as a lifelong commitment between one man and one woman for their mutual joy, the good of society, and the procreation of children. Marriage ultimately displays the glory and grace of God by picturing the unbreakable relationship between Christ and his church.

What is marriage in God's eyes? ›

A valid marriage is one where God enters into the marriage. This is what the Bible says happens in a marriage. God enters into it, and it cannot be broken. In a valid marriage, God is the glue in the marriage.

Will God forgive living together before marriage? ›

Finally, living together in a sexually intimate relationship outside of marriage is displeasing to God. Frequently, in the Bible, God speaks to the topic of sexual immorality. “Flee from sexual immorality,” he says through the Apostle Paul (1 Cor. 6:18; See also Gal.

How to choose a life partner according to the Bible? ›

Request a special sign(s) from God

According Gen. 24: 12 – 14, the servant requested a special sign from the Lord God before selecting one lady out of the lot for Isaac. Marriage has the label Made by God and so if people accept God's leading, He approves such marriages.

Who should a woman marry according to the Bible? ›

So then, he who marries the virgin does right, but he who does not marry her does even better. A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord.

What is the #1 rule of marriage? ›

One of the greatest rules of a happy marriage is respect. Even when you're fighting, you have to maintain respect for each other in order for things to work. It's important to keep calm when you have disagreements. It's OK to get angry, but never resort to name calling or spiteful comments.

What are the 5 C's of marriage? ›

Communication, Commitment, Compassion, Compatibility, and Chemistry.

What are the 4 pillars of marriage? ›

Safety, Faithfulness, Commitment and Reliability are 4 pillars of trust every marriage needs. If any one of these is missing, the roof starts caving in and the relationship starts to deteriorate. Marriages thrive when both partners feel safe and secure.

What keeps a man in love with a woman? ›

Physical attraction, sexual compatibility, empathy, and emotional connection are key to making a man fall in love with a woman.

What makes a man irresistible to a woman? ›

We women tend to get a bit over-excited about certain things, and while we can be a tad neurotic and frenzied, irresistible men seem to simply radiate calm and a can-do attitude. A steady gaze and cool written all over his face makes his sex appeal shoot through the roof.

What takes a man to commit? ›

If you're wondering what makes a man commit, do your best to skip out on any and all the drama. No one likes being nagged day in and day out. Instead of being dramatic over things, politely remind him how you feel about it in order to build a healthy relationship by keeping the connection between you two positive.

What every man needs from a woman? ›

Men love women who are thoughtful, caring, loving, and kind. A woman who does little things for her man for no other reason other than that she loves him. A woman who makes him smile back whenever she smiles at him. A woman who radiates love and warmth from her heart.

What is the number one need of a man? ›

The number one need of a man is honor.

What every man needs in a relationship? ›

Men may not be expressive, but they also have emotional needs. They look for comforting companionship, affection, emotional security, appreciation, compatibility, good level of understanding, independence of decision-making, and encouragement from their partners. What do men find most attractive in a woman?

What do men crave the most in a relationship? ›

Men want love as badly as women do. They just might not always be as obvious about it. But generally, they want the same thing: friendship, companionship, chemistry. So why is there so much confusion and miscommunication between the sexes?

What are the top 3 things men need in a relationship? ›

According to Steve Harvey, if you provide a man with these three things in a relationship, he won't leave: support, loyalty, and intimacy.

What is intimacy to a man? ›

Intimacy in a relationship is a feeling of being close, and emotionally connected and supported. It means being able to share a whole range of thoughts, feelings and experiences that we have as human beings.

What do all men want in a wife? ›

Like women, men want a life partner who will be trustworthy, faithful and reliable. They want a wife who will stand by their side and, considering divorce rates, it's no surprise that dependability would continue to be attractive. Join ForbesWoman on Facebook today!

What makes a man choose you as a wife? ›

Sociologists researched traits that many men tend to want their potential wife to have. These preferences include: Mutual attraction and love. Passion and friendship.

What do high value men want in a wife? ›

High-value men are attracted to someone highly motivated, concentrated, and has a growth mindset. To put it another way, he doesn't want his companion to stifle his progress. Rather, he'll be on the lookout for someone with whom he can share his growth.

What are the three words for a happy marriage? ›

In the letter, Francis said couples should remember to say three words: “please, thanks and sorry.”

What is the order of God in marriage? ›

Traditionally, the Bible venerates marriage between a man and a woman. In both the Old and New Testaments, the hierarchy in a marriage is to place God first, the husband second as head of the household, and the wife subservient to the husband.

What makes a strong marriage? ›

There are many factors that contribute to a satisfying marriage/relationship such as; Love, Commitment, Trust, Time, Attention, Good Communication including Listening , Partnership, Tolerance, Patience, Openness, Honesty, Respect, Sharing, Consideration, Generosity, Willingness/Ability to Compromise, Constructive ...

What kind of marriage does God honor? ›

The full text of Hebrews 13:4 reads, “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.” God declares that the first way to honor marriage is to be faithful to your marriage covenant.

What does spiritually married mean? ›

Spiritual marriage means to marry your soul to the eternal love of God. Without God no marriage can be successful. The purpose of marriage is to know God, to be with God together, but this has been forgotten. If you attract a person by spiritual magnetism, you will then find your soul companion.

What are the benefits of marriage for a man? ›

Married Men Have Better Overall Health, Especially Heart Health. Taking into consideration the risk factors for cardiovascular conditions such as blood pressure, cholesterol, age, body fat, smoking, and diabetes, married men had a lower rate of death, says this Framingham Offspring Study.

How do you get married in God's eyes? ›

  1. It is a promise to love his wife as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25)
  2. It is a promise to live sacrificially for his wife (Eph. ...
  3. It is to lead his wife spiritually (Ephesians 5:26)
  4. It is to leave his parents and cleave alone to his wife (Ephesians 5:31)
Feb 7, 2022

Is it a sin to sleep in the same bed before marriage? ›

' If the Bible does not permit having sex or living together before marriage, sleeping in the same bed would not be pleasing to God either. In Hebrews 13, the Bible talks about honoring the marriage bed by keeping it pure. The ESV Bible translation says “let the marriage bed undefiled”.

Does the Bible say you Cannot remarry after divorce? ›

“And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”9 Here, the phrase “and marries another” raises the issue of remarriage. Jesus states that divorcing a mate on the grounds of immorality frees the offended mate to remarry without committing adultery.

Why not live together before marriage? ›

Research indicates that couples who cohabit before marriage have a 50% higher divorce rate than those who don't. These couples also have higher rates of domestic violence. They are also more likely to be involved in sexual affairs.

What does the Bible say about finding a good wife? ›

Proverbs 18:22 (NIV)

He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord." Bible verses about wives tell us the importance of marriage and the blessing that a wife can be for a man. In fact, finding a good wife is evidence of finding favor with God.

How do I wait for God for a life partner? ›

So here are 3 ways you can wait for the one without waiting in the wrong type of way.
  1. God Wants You to Wait for The One Not By Remaining Still But Rather By Following Jesus. ...
  2. God Wants You to Wait for The One By Choosing Not to Date Someone You Already Know Is Not The One.
Dec 19, 2022

How do you know God sent your husband? ›

A clear sign that God has sent someone your way is that they respect your wishes and desires. They don't impose their wants unto you and they ask about what you want rather than always desiring things to be done their way.

How do you know if God has sent you your soulmate? ›

A soulmate is your other half, speaking in a spiritual sense. You soulmate is the person God has for you that will endure both the greatest joy and most heartbreaking defeats of life with you. They will love you, test you, challenge you, and make you feel emotions you've never felt with any other person on this planet.

What are the signs of a wise woman? ›

In The Proverbs 31 Homemaker, Jami discusses the six characteristics of a wise woman: her character as a wife, her devotion as a homemaker, her generosity as a neighbor, her influence as a teacher, her effectiveness as a mother, and her excellence as a woman.

Will God bless a second marriage? ›

A second marriage may be seen as an act of sin by some, but this perspective is not universally accepted. Even the Bible does not explicitly deny remarriage; many people find happiness in their second marriages. God will bless a second marriage if it is entered into with respect, love, and faithfulness to one another.

What is the purpose for a man to get married? ›

Marriage is the beginning—the beginning of the family—and is a life-long commitment. It also provides an opportunity to grow in selflessness as you serve your wife and children. Marriage is more than a physical union; it is also a spiritual and emotional union. This union mirrors the one between God and His Church.

How a man's life changes after marriage? ›

For men, life after marriage can be rather unsettling, as they are required to change substantially in their behaviour and commitment. With marriage men begin to see themselves as fathers, providers and protectors, an absolute transition from their previous carefree portrayal of self.

What is man's purpose in marriage? ›

The main responsibility of the man is summed up in three words: “Love your wives” (Ephesians 5:25). Husbands hold the key to a flourishing marriage. Men are to be initiators. The wife comes into full fruition and submission in response to the husband loving her as he should.

What do men look for in a wife? ›

Men love women who are thoughtful, caring, loving, and kind. A woman who does little things for her man for no other reason other than that she loves him. A woman who makes him smile back whenever she smiles at him. A woman who radiates love and warmth from her heart.

What is the most important thing for men in marriage? ›

In a matrimonial relationship, a man expects respect and gives unconditional love to his woman. Both love and respect are essential for the soft gliding of martial life. However, for a woman, it is easier to love a man than respect him.

What are the 5 reasons to marry you? ›

5 Reasons to Get Married, According to a Relationship Expert
  • 01 of 05. Your Trust Runs Both Ways. monkeybusinessimages / Getty Images. ...
  • 02 of 05. You Fight Fair. ...
  • 03 of 05. You've Talked About the Big Things. ...
  • 04 of 05. You Respect What's Important to Each Other. ...
  • 05 of 05. You're a Huge Part of Each Other's Lives.
Jun 14, 2023

Who benefits the most from marriage? ›

These cultural stereotypes persist despite evidence that marriage serves men much more than women in almost every way. Married men are better off than single men; they are healthier, wealthier, and happier.

Are men happier after marriage? ›

Hu found that reported happiness was higher overall among married people than unmarried people. By gender, 56.2 percent of married men said they were “very happy,” compared with only 39.4 percent of unmarried men who said so.

What are the stages of life after marriage? ›

Most marriages go through at least three distinct stages: 1) romantic love, 2) disillusionment and distraction, and 3) dissolution, adjustment with resignation, or adjustment with contentment (Larson, 2003). Stage 1 typically occurs prior to marriage and within the first several years after couples tie the knot.

Are guys happy after marriage? ›

It turns out married men are actually happier after marriage than they would be if they stayed single, according to researchers at Michigan State University.

Can a man love 2 woman equally? ›

A man may be able to emotionally commit and attach himself to two women at the same time. However, in most cases, a woman will not be able to do the same. Women are emotionally inclined to attach and commit differently than men. Unlike men, women practice and pursue exclusivity in romance,” he says.

What should be the wife's role in marriage? ›

In Ephesians 5:33, Paul says, ” … the wife must respect her husband.” When you respect your husband you reverence him, notice him, regard him, honor him, prefer him, and esteem him. It means valuing his opinion, admiring his wisdom and character, appreciating his commitment to you, and considering his needs and values.

What the Bible says about a husband's role in marriage? ›

In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. God commands men to love their wives as their own bodies, noting in Ephesians 5:28 that a man who shows love for his wife also clearly loves himself. This is a powerful Bible verse about love and marriage.

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